Sign for the Times

The sign I’m talking about is a peace sign. It is tapped over your heart. Or flashed like the old hippies did it. You can give it a try right now. It’s a sign to everyone, but cis het men, that I’ve got your back.

I am lucky enough to have strongly feminist, men in my life. Men who would never rape. Men who are never violent. Men who simply don’t have any friends, who would do violence. They are not sexist. So they will understand that all men look like potential rapists to a stranger. I invite anyone who thinks this is sexist to read more feminist literature. Gay, trans men, and NB friends in my experience are much less likely to engage in violence. If we can’t tell, if you’re gay or trans or NB out in public, we can’t trust your sign. You can trust ours though, every last one of you.

I imagine young people walking into a club and seeing the sign flashed by every woman and member of the alphabet mafia in the place. I would feel safer, knowing that all those people would protect me. A cis het man would look at all those signs and think this is not a safe place for a rapist. He would realize that this is not a place for violence.

This strength has been inside of us, all along. We simply have to decide to use it. The story I’m about to tell you does not include the LGBTQIA+ community, because I just haven’t found y’all up here yet in my small county. I’ll be on the lookout!

Today I went to get a mammogram. As I was registering, I struck up a conversation with the woman there. At the end I showed her the sign. I talked to three women in the waiting room. As soon as the cis het guy that had been talking constantly went to the bathroom, I said, “I was going to save you from that.” She laughed and nodded at me. We all talked about why we were there, and our problems of the moment.

I went in to the radiologist. I talked to her as she moved my big boobs around to get just the right angles. We really had a fun time chatting. And then I showed her the sign. “That’s a really great idea,” she said. I told her I was going to be flashing it everywhere. And I will be. At every restaurant, and fruit and vegetable stand. At every grocery store and pharmacy. I saw one of the women from the waiting room outside and I showed her the sign.

These were all older women, but when I went to Añejo for lunch, there was a young woman sitting in her car. She had brightly colored hair and a sad expression. When I came back out after lunch, she was still there, sitting against the restaurant wall. I asked her if she needed any help. She said she had locked her keys in the car, but her dad was coming to help her. I asked her if she needed anything else. Then I showed her the sign.

I think we can end rape. I think we can end domestic violence and other violence towards our community. Every woman and LGBTQIA+ person should have a can of mace in their pocket or purse. Our gloriously fat friends should become our warriors. Go ahead, you try to move them out of the way. I have to tell you, the day this sign is flashed back at me, I’ll be dead.

I want to pledge to you. I have your back. I’ve got a can of mace in my purse. We will defeat anything that comes our way. Can you feel the power of that? I think we can create a new age. Now show me the sign!

***The community I’m creating here is not for cis het men. Please let me know in the comments if you prefer:

1. Women and Gay, Bisexual, and Trans men and the Non-Binary Community (GBTQ-NB). I like this one best.
2. Women and the alphabet mafia (though redundant for most of our community)
3. Women and Non-Cis Het Men (N-CHM)
4. Make a suggestion