I told you I’m on borrowed time and it’s true, I have a terminal disease with a 20% fatality rate. It’s called bipolar. It used to be called manic-depressive. Twenty percent of mostly untreated or treatment-resistant bipolar people kill themselves. Here I want to sincerely thank Kody Green, schizophrenic hippie, for sharing his day to day experience with schizophrenia. I’ve been following him since I started on TikTok, and he was my inspiration to make this post. I’ve been amped up since I started these TikToks, but last night despite the 12.5 mg of Ambien, 150 mg of Trazadone and 2 mg of Xanax I only slept four hours. These are the telltale signs of a manic episode. It is the first manic episode I have had since I was institutionalized for four days in 2007. But this time I know what I have and I know what to do. I texted my dear psychiatrist friend altpegasus at 4 am because I was not sleeping. At 9:08 I sent him an email, explaining the last few months as I’ve explained them to you. At 1 pm, he texted me back, and after we got off the phone he had prescribed me a significant amount of Seroquel and we have a plan that I’ll take those as soon as I finish this TikTok. Yes, he is the best psychiatrist, he also takes insurance, and with my crazy good insurance it costs $40 or less for a medcheck. But back to this manic episode I wanted you to see it un-medicated. It took me 2 hours to write this post because I knew I would be too scattered to just say it. I feel anxious. I’m trying not to cry. I’m going to take one or two of those Seroquel and give it time to work, then I’m going to try to come back to show you the difference. This is bipolar.